Kate: Ask your Mom which bathroom has the vibrating showerhead.
出自電影《搞乜鬼奪命雜作 3》 的經典對白。
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President Harris: These men died for their country. Send flowers to their bitches and hos.
Cody: It's a boy. He's going to be an asshole.
Cindy: Call it women's intuition, or ESPN, or both, but I can tell when danger's near...
Mahalik: I found their weakness. They're powerless without their heads!
President Harris: You're excited? You should feel my nipples.
Cody: Smoke all you want, you're gonna get hit by a bus.
President Harris: Good God, the small ones have metal teeth! Jerry's Kids, my ass.
Kate: Ask your Mom which bathroom has the vibrating showerhead.
Architect: My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I.
Mrs. Meeks: My sweet, sweet Brenda. She looks so peaceful.
Mahalik: Yo George, you need something? I'll do anything for you... ANYTHING...
Tom: Quick, we can get that plank of wood to jam underneath the door. Oh, my balls. Oh... Jesus.
Cindy: Time to go back down the well, bitch!
President Harris: I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you.
Ross Giggins: Do they pose a threat? Only one thing's for certain. We are all going to be killed.
Alien #1: If you think that's strange, you should see how we pee.
Brenda Meeks: I just got a weird feeling something bad is heading my way. Like when you see an Asian person behind the wheel of a car.
Father Muldoon: We're getting along *famously*.
Tom: Don't call me "dude". I haven't been a stoner since...
Simon Cowell: I thought they were both absolutely dreadful. Ghastly. I don't know what I'm doing here. This club is totally pathetic.
Tom: George, all you've done is chase adolescent fantasies. "I want to be an astronaut. A cowboy. Gynecologist to the stars."
Aunt Shaneequa: What you gonna brush now? What you gonna brush now huh.
President Harris: I wonder what President Ford would have done.
President Harris: These men died for their country. Send flowers to their bitches and hos.
Cody: It's a boy. He's going to be an asshole.
Mahalik: I found their weakness. They're powerless without their heads!
President Harris: You're excited? You should feel my nipples.
Cody: Smoke all you want, you're gonna get hit by a bus.
Sayaman: Tom, I'll need a ride home.
Kate: Ask your Mom which bathroom has the vibrating showerhead.
Architect: My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I.
Cody: It's a boy. He's going to be an asshole.
Cindy: Call it women's intuition, or ESPN, or both, but I can tell when danger's near...
Cody: Smoke all you want, you're gonna get hit by a bus.
President Harris: Good God, the small ones have metal teeth! Jerry's Kids, my ass.
Kate: Ask your Mom which bathroom has the vibrating showerhead.
Mahalik: I heard Jamal from 90th street watched that tape last week and this mornin' he woke up dead! CJ: How the hell do you wake up dead? Mahalik: Cause' you're alive when you go to sleep. CJ: So you're telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive? Mahalik: You can't go to bed dead! That shit would've been redundant. CJ: No it would'nt cause' you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed. Mahalik: But you are in the bed. That's how you wake up dead in the first place fool! CJ: Damn! that's some quantum shit right there man! You should be teaching classes!
George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead. Tom: Oh. I better tell her. George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue? Sue: Yes? George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda? Sue: Yeah. George: She's dead! Sue: Aah! George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog! Sue: My dog's dead? George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!
George: You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here George: and start livin' down here? Mahalik: Or what if we stop livin' over here Mahalik: and move over there? CJ: Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though. Mahalik: For what? CJ: Mice. Mahalik: I thought she had rats? CJ: No, rats are outside, mice are inside. Mahalik: But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse? CJ: I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'. Mahalik: That's because it's a rat, fool! CJ: Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha! George: Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything...
President Harris: Get me the President. John Wilson: You are the President. President Harris: Good. Then I already know about this. Let's order lunch.
Annie: Promise me you'll never remarry. Tom: I promise. Annie: And no sex, either. Tom: I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. Annie: No sex. Tom: Honey, you're not speaking clearly. Your injuries must be awful. Annie: No sex. Tom: Oh, cruel fate to shroud my wife's dying words in mystery. Annie: No sex! Tom: Poor Annie. We hardly knew her. She'll be missed terribly. Annie: Oh, Jesus. Tom: That's right, honey. Go into the light. Annie: Look! Just tell George, swing away. Tom: Right. Swing away. Annie: Oh, sure. That you understand.
Cindy: Cindy: It's so hard. George: Well, you're a beautiful woman, and you're pressing up against me.
Cindy: Something weird is going on at your farm. I know it. George: I don't know what you're talking about. Sometimes a sheep just needs to be pushed through the fence.
John Wilson: Sir, I think you should go on the tv and tell everyone there is no such things as UFO's. President Harris: Don't spell in front of me damn it.
Mahalik: George, the hood! Lose the hood! George: I know, we're in the hood now! Brenda Meeks: He's a dead man. George: You guys feelin' me? In the hood?
Brenda Meeks: I saw this tape, and I think you should know about it. It had these really shocking images on it. Cindy: Brenda, it was Mardi Gras, I never drank Vodka before, and I was outta beads! Brenda Meeks: No, not that tape Cindy. Anyway, you watch the tape, and when it's over, your phone rings. And this creepy voice says, "You're Gonna Die In Seven Days", and seven days later... Cindy: When did you watch it? Brenda Meeks: A week ago. A week ago, tonight. Cindy: Brenda! Cindy: . Cindy: Oh my God, you bitch! Brenda Meeks: Ketchup! Cindy: Oh, you got me! Brenda Meeks: I can't believe you fell for that fake seizure! Cindy: But it seemed so real! Brenda Meeks: It did didn't it? Cindy: And you peed! Brenda Meeks: Yeah! I really sold that shit, didn't I? I just love the look on your face when you are scared, girl! You are too easy! Brenda Meeks: . I got you with the old fake hand! I'm gonna get the rest of the popcorn...
U-God: You stepped on my shoe, bitch! Redman: Man, call me a bitch again and I'll park your truck... dead in yo ass! Macy Gray: DAMN, HOMEY! CJ: Hey yo, they comin! Over here! RZA: If I was you, son, I'd bust this shit right now! Method Man: Yo Momma! U-God: I got your number too, homey. Master P: He ain't gonna bust nuthin. I got nuts bigger than him. RZA: Oh, yeah? I'll roll up on you too... you country ass maple syrup biscuit eatin' nigga! Master P: Ya'll want some biscuits? You want some biscuits? Tom: I cannot believe what just happened! President Harris: These men all died for their country. Send flowers to their bitches and hos.
Brenda Meeks: Oh, come on. Cindy, the news is on! Another little white girl done fell down a well. Fifty black people got they ass beat by police today, but the whole world gotta stop for one little whitey down the hole. Brenda Meeks: Cindy, the TV's leaking. Cindy... Cindy something's wrong here. Brenda Meeks: Cindy, this bitch is messin' up my floor! Brenda Meeks: Cindy, Help me! Cindy: I'm not listening. Brenda Meeks: Get up you little ugly bitch. C'mon, let me see what you got. What you gonna do? Brenda Meeks: That's all? Brenda Meeks: Oooh, I'm whippin' her ass, Cindy! Yeah, wassup?
Kate: I hate television - gives me headaches. Becca: You know, there's so many magnetic waves travelling in the airspace because of TV and television, we're losing like ten times as many brain cells as we're supposed to. Kate: Oh, please! Kate: The cow says blank? Three letters? Becca: Dude! Kate: Dude! I dont know, magnetic waves, brain cells, I don?t understand the connection between all that stuff. Becca: You know what else I heard? Magnetic waves shrink silicone molecules. Becca: Agghh! Oh, my God, turn it off! Kate: It's not working! Becca: It's backwards! Kate: What do we do? Becca: I dont know! Aghhhh! Kate: That was kind of scary. Becca: I know something even scarier. Kate: Ooh, what? Becca: Have you heard about this videotape? Kate: The one where they do it on the boat and then in the car and then in the bathtub? And he's like, "Hey, baby, I love you? and she's like "Where are we?" And did you see the size...? Becca: No. Not that tape. The one with all the scary images, and after you watch the tape, the phone rings and this really scary voice comes on and says you're gonna die in like... Kate: Seven days! Yeah, I saw that one with Josh last weekend! Becca: You were with Josh last weeknd? Oh, my God! Kate: Oh, yes I was! Becca: You ho! Kate: You know it! Kate: Becca: This is really weird. Kate: Yeah, big house, only one phone.
Cindy: So can you tell me about... Aunt Shaneequa: The tape? Cindy: Yes. I watched it and... Aunt Shaneequa: The phone rang. Cindy: Right. Then this voice said... Aunt Shaneequa: That you would die in seven days. Cindy: Okay, that's getting... Aunt Shaneequa: Extremely annoying. Cindy: Yeah. Orpheus: Try being married to her. I catch shit about women I ain't slept with yet.
President Harris: I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you.
Cindy: And now back to you, Ross. Ross Giggins: I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
President Harris: Ah, good. The Air Force is here with those new round planes. Secret Serviceman Jones: We don't have round planes, sir.
Sayaman: I'm sorry about that night. If I hadn't fallen asleep while driving for that exact 20 minutes. If I hadn't drank that exact whole bottle of Jaegermeister. If only I hadn't killed that hooker. Tom: Sayaman. I don't see what any of this has to do with Annie. Sayaman: I'm sorry. Those were other nights. But if it had been that night, I might have missed her.
Tom: Hi, baby. Annie: Honey, I'm dying. Tom: No, don't talk like that, the truck barely hit you.
President Harris: What is it? Agent Thompson: It's some old Tupac, sir. President Harris: "All eyez on me." Hey, this shit is bangin'.
Tom: Come here! What did you do with Sue? MJ: I didn't touch her, I swear! Tom: I don't believe you! MJ: Please, for God's sake! She's a girl!
